An A Type Lost in the Jungle

It is definitely hard telling people why I quit my job in Manhattan and left my apartment in Brooklyn to move to Thailand; without a plan or idea about what it will be like when I finally arrive. It is not really in my nature to make such a change – but I guess that at the core that is the real reason why I chose to leave. Because it is just something that I naturally wouldn’t do.

After graduating NYU and working full time in a lucrative art gallery in Manhattan I still wasn’t completely fulfilled, and if anything more neurotic. Manhattan has a unique ability of turning each persons’ little flaws into huge neurotic tendencies. I worried about the future, worried about my clothes, worried about working out – just about anything I could worry about I did. But most obsessively of all I worried about money. Did I have enough of it, was I spend little enough of it, did I have enough of it for the future, was I investing what I had properly…. on and on and on. Towards the end of 2007 it got so bad that I was having money anxiety dreams where I would wake up and my arms would be numb from stress. To cut to the chase it was stupid; I was saving and making more than enough of it. So then why was I so god damn stressed about it? Like I said, Manhattan is just a greedy little monster that feeds off of your anxieties, making them worse for its own benefit. So what I needed was a reality check and a change in scenery. If money, relative success for my age and living in “the greatest city in the world” wasn’t going to do it I needed to go some where that would. And for the most part that’s how I ended up in Thailand.
Sadly, I guess that my motives are no different than any American that goes to Thailand to “find themselves” – if it is even possible to do that! But while my motives might not be original I am really hoping that in the mean while I end up doing something meaningful for the people that live here and contributing to the community.

We’ll see how it goes. I just finally got to Mae Sot after 2 long days of traveling and tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully I’ll find A. an apartment to rent and B. an NGO to work with. This should be a whole new exciting adventure!